31

Goons portend peril.

The Dude will not deal with morons:

Their purpose is micturition,

While his purpose is recreation.

Nihilists believe in nossing.

They are cowards, dipshits, crybabies.

Experts at unrepentantly betraying trust,

And stepping on penises and squishing them.

Those who lack an ethos

Will threaten castration,

Only to be chop-chopped themselves,

From their toes, up to their ears.

Do you see what happens?

Say what you will,

A worthy fucking adversary should still be offered condolences,

Just as the permanently shut up should be immortalized with a eulogy.

Tao Te Ching: 31

Military instruments portend peril.

This is why they are naturally feared.

Because they are tools of aggression,

The sage holds no affinity for them.

In ordinary affairs, a wise ruler gives precedence to inclusion.

It is only in wartime that he elects the path of exclusion.

Thus military instruments do not further the development of wholesomeness.

Rather, they are a necessary but unfortunate regression in the grand scheme of things.

The wise ruler employs his militia only as a last resort

And is never enthusiastic about it.

For to delight in war is to delight in death,

And he who delights in death,

Will himself become subsumed by it.

Thus when forced into battle,

One should bitterly mourn the massacre of one’s adversaries,

And commemorate victory not with a parade,

But with a wake.