53

It is the modest task which is your charge:

Following the Dude like a Brother Shamus,

Fearing only that you’ll crash into a dumpster.

Yet while following instructions is easy,

Believing in nothing is also easy.

That’s two things we learned in ‘Nam.

Though mansions in Pasadena are full of plunder,

The valleys are left to tumbleweeds,

And the bowling alleys are out of business.

Darkness warshes over:

Unworthy adversaries wear purple jumpsuits,

Play, ugh, techno-pop,

Threaten to fuck strangers in the ass,

Draw pictures of penises, and a lot of water,

Purvey pornography and politics,

Keep amphibious rodents within the city limits,

Demand ransom without a hostage,

And purloin money from needy children of promise.

These are not worthy fucking adversaries.

These are the manners of the monkey-feeders,

And grave deviations from the Dude.

Tao Te Ching: 53

If we had the tiniest bit of sense,

We would always stay on the thoroughfare of Tao,

Avoiding the ill-fated off-ramp.

The high road is broad and smooth,

Yet for some odd reason,

People are prone to veer onto treacherous turnoffs.

Though mansions are immaculately appointed,

The surrounding fields lie fallow,

And the granaries stand empty.

Inside, they wear elegant clothes,

With fine jewels dangling upon them.

They eat and drink excessively,

Enjoying riches too innumerable to apprehend.

We normally refer to this as grand larceny!

Some imagine this to be a noble path.

But it too is a grave deviation from the Tao.