81

To tell you the truth, Brandt, I don’t remember much.

Therefore there can be no literal connection.

This could be a uh, a lot more uh, uh, uh, uh, complex…

I mean it’s not just, it might not be, just such a simple, uh—you know?

The parlance of our times may be full of blather,

But those who demand you parla inglés are not privy to the old shit.

Whereas modern artifice has conceived much but does not listen,

Dudeness recycles everything as it rambles.

Though the abiders may not achieve,

The achievers do not abide.

I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life:

The Dude does not want to get bumped into a taxing bracket.

The more he takes it easy, the more ease he is afforded.

The more he abides, the more he achieves.

The more he helps lift others up, the higher he becomes.

Despite their wandering dodder,

The Dude Way is to treat everyone as a compeer.

Because this whole fucking thing—

It’s only, just, like, our opinion, man,

And we cannot drag our negative energy into the tournament.

In this way:

The Dude abides,

Down through the generations,

Across the sands of time,

With his manhood intact,

A trophy life,

And the garlands of our times.

Fucking A, man. Fucking amen.

Tao Te Ching: 81

Sincere language may not be beautiful,

But beautiful language is rarely sincere.

The righteous do not have much to say,

But those who talk a lot are rarely righteous.

The deep may not be distinguished,

But the distinguished rarely have depth.

The holy man does not hoard—

The more he gives,

The more he receives.

The more he helps,

The more he succeeds.

The way of Tao is to benefit without hurting.

Thus the sage does not struggle to do good in the world,

Rather, he elects to do so with the greatest of ease.