76

A Dudeist’s heart is soft and limber,

A nihilist’s heart is hard and stiff.

Thriving plants are limber and green, with some rust coloration,

Upon death, they are dry as ashes, stiff as a severed toe.

Thus the soft and supple is the disciple of Dudeism,

While the stubborn and stiff is the fan of the fucked.

Just as a shitty rule that cannot be bent will be broken,

So will an inflexible adversary be forced to give up his girlfriend’s toe.

So many bright, flowering young men died face down in the muck—

In your wisdom you nixed ’em, Nixon,

While those who occupied various administration buildings

Still ably perform dude-jitsu upon their rugs.

Tao Te Ching: 76

At birth, man is supple and soft,

At death, he is stiff and brittle.

When full of life, grasses and trees are flexible and frail,

But approaching death they are withered and dry.

Thus, the hard and stubborn is the disciple of death,

While the soft and yielding is the disciple of life.

In this way,

A campaign that cannot accommodate will collapse,

Just as a tree that cannot bend will break.

The mighty, in standing firm, will be laid low,

While the tender, in enduring, will emerge ascendant.